But I still very much love you

But I still very much love you

“I feel tired all the time, and I’m stiff, and I’m on prednisone, and I look different than I used to. Can we figure out how to rekindle our intimacy in a way that can meet both of our needs but that’s not gonna be painful?”

Rebecca Gillett: Yeah. And I think that communication piece, like you’re saying, it starts way before you even hit the bedroom, you know? And you touched on body image. That’s another thing that happens a lot, when we have arthritis. Our body changes. Not only does our body change, the things we can do with it change.

Iris Zink, NP: I talk to the patients a lot about general health. I wanna make sure, despite everything that has happened, that they’re still eating healthy and they’re still trying to get some kind of exercise and they’re trying to work on being mindful and stuff like that, because that makes you sexy. Confidence makes you sexy, you know? But quite the opposite. And I always quote this study, in 1988, at Michigan State University, I was a study participant in a psychological study where they had men in one room and women in another room, this would never work now, where they had men pick the body image that they thought was the most attractive, and men traditionally picked women who are curvy.

How do we feel sexy for any of that sexy time if you don’t feel good about yourself and your body?

And so, I have shared that over and over and over with my patients: You gained five, 10, 15 pounds? I bet your partner’s gonna think you’re sexy because you’ve got all these curves now. Lire la suite